Preparing for Missions: 6 Tips for a Healthy Goodbye

Mary Beth Fussner • Apr 26, 2017

When Jesus told us to “go to all the world,” “ go ” meant leave !

Leave home. Leave family. Leave what’s familiar, and go to what is strange to you.

For a missionary, all the studying, fundraising, preparation and planning marches inexorably to this point: time to “go.” Two letters. One small step into the aircraft door. One big turning point.

That moment can be an intensely lonely moment, both for those leaving and those who are left. However, both parties are in company with a lot of people in today’s world. Jerry Jones , a blogger who lives in China and writes for expatriates all over the world, cites the following statistics:

That’s a lot of leaving!

How does a person navigate this threshold well?

I’ve “left” a number of times through my life, and I’ve also been left. Sometimes I left well, and other times, I didn’t.

To me, leaving well means having your relationships intact at the end and arriving at your destination with some gas still left in your emotional tank. There’s no rule book, and no two people have the same experience of leaving.

If you are the one leaving, here are some tips to strengthen yourself and those you love.

Clear up relationship breakages as much as possible.

This is an opportunity to make sure you have cleared up any unresolved conflicts.

I think this responsibility usually falls to the one leaving. If you’re even thinking about a situation as you read this, you will likely have to take the initiative on this one. It’s not easy, but it’s so important.

If you leave without doing this, you’ll carry too much weight with you. And you’ll leave a wake behind you. It’s really important. I know. I’ve experienced it and wished I could have a do-over.

Express love and affirmation.

This is an opportunity to celebrate your relationships and affirm those you love.

Say the loving words, give the hugs, make time to be together and express how special this person is to you.

Don’t be afraid to tell each other how the leaving makes you feel. Sometimes we think we should not let the other person see that this hurts because we are trying to make it easier on them.

It’s not uncommon for people to fight just before they have to say goodbye to each other. Anger can be a response to pain; it would be easier to say goodbye while I’m mad at you. Only it’s not, really.

If someone is avoiding you, it may be an attempt to avoid the pain of saying goodbye. It may be your friend or loved one feels rejection because you’ve chosen to leave. At least make an effort to reach out to this person and express your affection.

For even more from Beth, check out her best tips for leaving well in the video below.

Be kind to yourself.

This is a physically and emotionally demanding experience. Get good nutrition and rest.

Many people get sick just before they leave. Our physical and spiritual beings are tied together, and when we are experiencing extra stress, our immune systems get overloaded.

Give yourself time to exercise, even briefly; take those vitamins, and eat carefully. It’s hard because everyone wants to treat you to those last special meals. Taste everything, but don’t overload. “YOLO” is not your motto here!

Ask for help.

Think of practical ways people can help you, such as shopping for you, sealing boxes, moving large items, cleaning, babysitting, providing meals, etc. When they ask, tell them what they can do!

On my latest move, two people asked if they could help me. They weren’t people who were especially close to me, and I was hesitant to say yes. But I did need help packing kitchen and household goods, so I accepted. We got a lot done that day. And we also shared, cried and prayed together. I heard stories I had never heard from them before.

Manage your emotions.

The stress of moving overseas will affect your emotions — maybe even in some ways that surprise you.

You may go stone cold and silent, focusing on your tasks and not letting yourself think about the sadness of leaving. That works for getting things done. It doesn’t work for “heart” health. Remember, there are emotions under there that you’ll need to process at some point. Be grateful you can function to accomplish necessary tasks, but be aware of how your emotions may surface in other ways.

You may be weepy and find it hard to concentrate. Do what you can when you can, even if it’s the middle of the night! Don’t believe your dire and anxious thoughts; believe the promises God gave you for this time.

You may be really excited about finally going to the place you’ve been thinking and talking about! But you might also feel guilty because others around you are sad you’re leaving. Embrace the paradox. Rather than canceling each other out, joy and pain can exist together!

You may have nightmares and struggle with anxiety. Pray for protection for your mind and heart. Then, think of this time as “choppy waters,” and ask for grace to ride through it.

Be on your guard spiritually.

The first time I left as a missionary, our term was to be four years. As I packed my suitcases, a voice said very clearly in my head, “ You will never see your mother again.

My heart nearly stopped, and all the strength went out of my body. Woodenly, I continued doing all that needed to be done, but I could barely breathe. Was God warning me that this would be the last goodbye? I told no one, not even my husband until we were on the other side of the ocean.

As it turned out, this was a lie. My mother visited me twice in our country of service; she was able to enjoy my children and watch them grow up, and I was with her when she crossed her own threshold into the next life.

Remember, there is one who opposes your act of obedience to Christ’s call to “go” — and he will try to harass and intimidate you.

It’s a hard lesson to learn, but we must test the spirits. Jesus will never make me afraid and weak. He will look straight into my eyes and tell me I am His and we can do this together.

I remember parting with my college-age son as we left for our last overseas assignment. He stood and watched us walk down the airport corridor as far as he could see us. When we had to turn the corner and his figure was no longer visible, my knees nearly buckled.

How grateful I was that Jesus said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” He would be with my son. He would be with me. I could go.

By Suzanne Pearson 19 Mar, 2024
Previously on the TEAM blog, we sat down with Justin Burkholder (pictured above at left, with TEAM's Executive Director of Communications, Aaron Catlin). Justin will become TEAM’s next International Director on July 1, 2024. Justin shared about his background, family, and the journey that led him to TEAM. Check out that interview here . Today, we pick up the conversation as Justin shares how God called him to the role of International Director, and what he sees for the next chapter in TEAM’s work in the global Church. Q: How and when did you first consider applying for the position of International Director? How did the Lord reveal Himself to you as this opportunity presented itself? A: For some time, I have been evaluating how God wants me to use the gifts He has given me. Jenny and I have had a fruitful ministry in church planting in Guatemala and would happily continue doing so as God leads. However, as God blessed my efforts in TEAM leadership, there were friends and family who expressed that I should consider using my gifts in the International Director role. I don’t believe that everything necessarily rises and falls on leadership, but I do believe that it is a core component in the body of Christ. Using the gifts God has given me is a way that I want to bless the body of Christ in TEAM, making my contribution to the global purposes of God’s mission. Jenny and I spent a lot of time praying about this and decided that I should put my name in for consideration, trusting God’s guidance. We had a tremendous amount of peace throughout the entire process and were blessed by the prayer-filled process that the board undertook. Q: This is a key role in a large and complex organization, and I’m sure this was a big decision for you and your family. What were your fears or concerns? Why did you ultimately decide to accept the position? A: You say “were” like the fears have passed! I still am quite aware of my youth and inexperience - of the responsibility and weight of this role. Mostly, I’m afraid of leading an organization like TEAM in the flesh. Many of the fears that I have faced have been fears rooted in fleshly desires and concerns. I have no desire to succeed in the world’s eyes and fail in the Kingdom of Jesus. Why did I ultimately decide to accept the position? I’m convinced that the Good News about Jesus is true. The tomb is empty, Jesus is King, and the world needs to know, because Jesus is coming back. He will put things in order. He will establish righteousness, peace, and justice for all mankind, and He has commissioned His Church to proclaim and demonstrate His rule and reign. I want to use my gifts to do whatever I can to amplify the proclamation of this message and the multiplication of His Church around the world. Q: What are your goals and vision for the future of TEAM? A: This is something that I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about. I’m certainly not ready to present a fully-shaped vision and goals for TEAM’s future without the input of other people in different contexts in TEAM. But, I will share a few things that I think are important: First, we need to model God-Dependence . I am hopeful that as leaders in TEAM, we can continue to model God-Dependence. As Hudson Taylor said years ago “…God’s work, done in God’s way, will never lack God’s supplies.” I am hopeful that we can increase our sense of faith in God, prayer, and seeking direction from the Spirit. Secondly, we must strengthen our relational fabric . Due to the changes that we have experienced by decentralizing our home office functions, and the challenges from the pandemic, we have experienced a loss of relationships. It is imperative that we intentionally prioritize the building of relationships with one another. I plan to visit our workers and staff, and I am expectant that other key leaders and staff will be doing the same. Third, we must pursue the greater presence of the global Church. The Kingdom of Jesus Christ doesn’t look like any single geopolitical, ethnic, or racial culture. If we want to truly see the Kingdom of Jesus come on earth as it is in heaven, then we as citizens of this Kingdom must learn from one another, submit to one another, and grow with one another. The missional potential of the global Church has been unleashed by God’s Spirit since Acts 1, and we have an opportunity to learn from many brothers and sisters in Christ who can help us to better model and proclaim the Kingdom of Jesus to those who have yet to believe. Lastly, we must increase our Gospel boldness . There are still many places of great spiritual blindness and spiritual brokenness around the world. The apostolic impulse of cross-cultural organizations should call us to the to the edges of where the Kingdom of Jesus is not penetrating. Whether spiritual blindness and brokenness exists because of lack of access, idolatry, injustice, or any other myriad of reasons, I prayerfully hope to see more and more TEAM workers continue to move into spaces of great Gospel need.
By Suzanne Pearson 08 Mar, 2024
Through God-ordained partnerships and creative connections, TEAM worker Keith Moore sees the global Church advancing in amazing ways. In the global missions landscape, a phrase that comes up often is “from everywhere, to everywhere.” God is calling His global Church in literal new directions, as He raises up cross-cultural workers to be sent from places that were once on the receiving end of missions work. We call this movement “polycentric sending.” TEAM workers Dawn and Keith Moore have seen first-hand this transition taking place. Their story involves the unlikely but beautiful intersection of Charlotte, North Carolina; Tegucigalpa, Honduras; and Memphis, Tennessee...and beyond. The Path to Honduras Keith and Dawn joined TEAM in 1991 and served as church planters for nine years in Bogota, Colombia. After safety concerns precipitated their return to the States in 1999, they knew they wanted to continue serving in Latin America. The Moores felt called to Honduras but wanted to connect with a strong missional church to help send them. The Lord orchestrated a collaboration with Bellevue Baptist Church in Memphis, Tennessee. “Some people asked, ‘Why Honduras? Missionaries have been there for 100 years. It’s already reached,’” Keith says. “But there’s a whole section of Latin America that had not been reached - the upper crust.” Keith goes on to explain that he and Dawn felt called to reach college-educated professionals in Honduras – a ministry vision that resonated with the missional goals of Bellevue Baptist. Impact and Growth With the support of this new church partnership as well as another sending church in Birmingham, Alabama, the Moores embarked on their next adventure. Keith and Dawn started Impacto Honduras Church from scratch, and in less than 20 years, the church grew into four locations with 1600 total members. The Moores and other TEAM workers also created a “Bible school” type training program to help professionals who feel a call to ministry to make that transition. Throughout this period of explosive growth, church partnerships played an integral role. “It’s such a different vision when you have a church that says, ‘OK, this is our deal, we want to make this happen,’” Keith explains. “They helped us with everything. They took away every single obstacle to growth. Every time we needed something, they were there.” In 2017, the Moores once again found themselves on the verge of another decision. Was it time to leave Honduras? “I had no desire to leave,” Keith recalls. “People were coming to Christ every week! It was just so amazing.” However, back in the U.S., Keith and Dawn’s parents were in their 80s and would soon be in need of more care. “We realized that either we would leave in a crisis, or we would leave strategically,” says Keith. The couple began to implement a careful succession plan. By the time they left, the four churches were established with strong, Honduran leadership ready to carry on the work of the Gospel.
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