When Does Sacrifice Become Neglect?

TEAM – The Evangelical Alliance Mission • Sep 12, 2019

Missionary work requires sacrifice. But what happens when that sacrifice comes at the expense of your family? Keep reading to see how one missionary found his answer in the book of Mark.


Today’s blog post comes from a TEAM missionary working in the Middle East. For his safety, we have kept his name and location private.

When we arrived on the mission field, we expected to see an attitude of intentional self-sacrifice. I want that attitude in missionaries I support personally, and churches want that in us. Jesus apparently wanted that, too, or He wouldn’t ask Christians to carry their cross.


But we all know that it’s really the missionaries who are supposed to do that a little bit more than everyone else. It’s a role prescribed for missions workers. And we were just as guilty of adding pressure to ourselves as any supporting churches and friends ever were.


What we found over many years on the field is that a sacrificial attitude can actually start to manifest itself as being subtle pride over time.


Maybe back home, everyone is comparing each other on the basis of their income or their home. But on the mission field, we couldn’t help but notice we often compared ourselves on the basis of suffering.


During a brutal summer of 110-degree weather, a friend said, “You’re paying $25 per month on water? I’ve never paid more than $8. You guys must be wasting a lot of water showering all the time, or someone is just stealing it from you at night.”


We did get in two or maybe three showers per week — and felt bad about it.


Another friend remarked that he wore the same outfit for 10 days to cut down on laundry water.


When Sacrifice Becomes Real

Sacrifice might not be a big deal when you’re debating shower time, but it really came to a head when things started to get tough on our family in other ways.

One type of friend would say it may be time to depart before a major crisis happened to our family. Previous families in our field had left dealing with kids suffering from panic attacks, bulimia and suicidal tendencies. 


One of our leaders said there was no shame in taking the basket over the wall, much like wise Paul did when escaping from Damascus in Acts 9:25. But I noticed when difficult things happened to their own family, they never considered leaving.

Even Paul took a basket over a wall when escaping Damascus. But how do you know when it’s time to escape and when it’s time to dig deeper into your calling?


On the other hand, a different type of friend may remind us of why we were there.


“Didn’t the Lord call you to come here and accept some risk?” “When the going gets tough, don’t you just dig into your calling and trust God more?” “If your kids suffer later, don’t you think that God will take care of them if He really called you to come here?”


I couldn’t disagree with any of those assertions necessarily. Yet, it brought up that there was an annoying spectrum between the sovereignty of God and the responsibility of man.


Neglecting Family in the Name of God

One morning, I was reading Mark 7 when all these ideas came together for me in a new way. In verses 11–13, Jesus describes the situation of a man who had a responsibility to care for his parents:


“But you say it is all right for people to say to their parents, ‘Sorry, I can’t help you. For I have vowed to give to God (corban) what I would have given to you.’ In this way, you let them disregard their needy parents. And so you cancel the word of God in order to hand down your own tradition.”


Whatever he could have given to help his parents, the man in the passage gives it up in the name of “sacrifice” to God.


The Greek word used directly in many translations of this passage is “corban.” It’s the exact same word we use in Arabic to denote making a sacrifice.


As a result of this man calling what he gave a corban or sacrifice to the Lord (we don’t know whether he means time, money or work), he now feels no obligation to carry out his duty toward his parents. God will take care of them. 


Jesus says that a man like this stands condemned because he put the traditions of men over the natural responsibilities he has for his family.

Being a missionary means sacrifice. But it’s important to recognize when sacrifice in the name of God is actually becoming neglect of your family.


Choosing Obedience Over Sacrifice

I was extremely convicted as I read this passage with new eyes towards my situation. I actually asked several pastors if I could even interpret the passage in this way, while feeling that it had hit me right between the eyes.


The easiest thing for me was to stay in my same situation. I enjoyed our work and ministry.


But I came back to this new conviction every time I assessed our future plans. I could no longer play the sacrifice-for-God (get-out-of-jail-free) card without feeling guilt and concern for my family’s needs. After many months of discussion and prayer with my wife, we realized it was time to go home.


A year of transition later, we’re still trying to find our feet.


There has been a lot of grieving for the foreign world we just left and for the home world we left several years ago that we’ll never get back. We know God is good and feel He still may have some distant radical calling in our future as a couple. But for now, we feel affirmed that we made the right decision. 

 

We’re getting our kids and ourselves what we’ve needed for a long time: social outlets, academic opportunities, counseling — and daily baths.


We’ve unearthed that we were a lot closer to the brink than we thought. But we’ve also seen that Jesus is a lot more loving and gracious than we ever could have imagined.

By Suzanne Pearson 08 Mar, 2024
Through God-ordained partnerships and creative connections, TEAM worker Keith Moore sees the global Church advancing in amazing ways. In the global missions landscape, a phrase that comes up often is “from everywhere, to everywhere.” God is calling His global Church in literal new directions, as He raises up cross-cultural workers to be sent from places that were once on the receiving end of missions work. We call this movement “polycentric sending.” TEAM workers Dawn and Keith Moore have seen first-hand this transition taking place. Their story involves the unlikely but beautiful intersection of Charlotte, North Carolina; Tegucigalpa, Honduras; and Memphis, Tennessee...and beyond. The Path to Honduras Keith and Dawn joined TEAM in 1991 and served as church planters for nine years in Bogota, Colombia. After safety concerns precipitated their return to the States in 1999, they knew they wanted to continue serving in Latin America. The Moores felt called to Honduras but wanted to connect with a strong missional church to help send them. The Lord orchestrated a collaboration with Bellevue Baptist Church in Memphis, Tennessee. “Some people asked, ‘Why Honduras? Missionaries have been there for 100 years. It’s already reached,’” Keith says. “But there’s a whole section of Latin America that had not been reached - the upper crust.” Keith goes on to explain that he and Dawn felt called to reach college-educated professionals in Honduras – a ministry vision that resonated with the missional goals of Bellevue Baptist. Impact and Growth With the support of this new church partnership as well as another sending church in Birmingham, Alabama, the Moores embarked on their next adventure. Keith and Dawn started Impacto Honduras Church from scratch, and in less than 20 years, the church grew into four locations with 1600 total members. The Moores and other TEAM workers also created a “Bible school” type training program to help professionals who feel a call to ministry to make that transition. Throughout this period of explosive growth, church partnerships played an integral role. “It’s such a different vision when you have a church that says, ‘OK, this is our deal, we want to make this happen,’” Keith explains. “They helped us with everything. They took away every single obstacle to growth. Every time we needed something, they were there.” In 2017, the Moores once again found themselves on the verge of another decision. Was it time to leave Honduras? “I had no desire to leave,” Keith recalls. “People were coming to Christ every week! It was just so amazing.” However, back in the U.S., Keith and Dawn’s parents were in their 80s and would soon be in need of more care. “We realized that either we would leave in a crisis, or we would leave strategically,” says Keith. The couple began to implement a careful succession plan. By the time they left, the four churches were established with strong, Honduran leadership ready to carry on the work of the Gospel.
By Suzanne Pearson 23 Feb, 2024
Justin Burkholder, pictured here with his wife Jenny and their daughters Isabella, Olivia, and Zoey, has recently been named as TEAM’s next International Director. On February 19, 2024, with much excitement and gratitude to the Lord, TEAM announced that Justin Burkholder will become our organization’s new International Director, effective July 1, 2024. Justin, who is currently TEAM’s Executive Director of Global Ministry, will assume his new role upon the retirement of the current International Director, Dave Hall. ( Read the full press release here. ) We sat down recently with Justin to learn a little more about his background, his family, and the journey that has led him to TEAM. Q: Tell us a little bit about your “origin story” - Where did you grow up? What was your family like? A: I grew up in Mexico City as a missionary kid. My parents were focused on church planting. We were very close as a family. Both of my parents are still alive, and my dad serves as a pastor in southern Florida. I have one brother who is a pastor in Wisconsin, and the most special individual in my family is my sister, Amber. She was born with a very severe case of cerebral palsy and is entirely dependent on my mother...who is extraordinary! The three most impactful forces that have shaped who I am (outside of God’s grace) are growing up in Mexico, having parents who loved and planted churches, and sharing life with someone with a severe disability. My parents belonged at the time to a church and denomination that came with quite a bit of legalism and performance-oriented Christianity. Grace was a challenging concept to grasp. While I had an awareness of my sin and need for redemption, it wasn’t until I attended Moody Bible Institute that I began to grasp the fullness of God’s grace and His delight in His children. I have continued learning and trusting in the Gospel through formal education, like completing my M.Div., and through spiritual practices in community. Learning the Gospel and believing the Gospel has been a daily exercise. The Gospel is as beautiful and multi-faceted as a diamond! At an individual level, it is simple enough for us to live convinced that “Jesus loves me, this I know.” At a corporate level, it becomes the foundation that forms and informs our life as a spiritual family. At a cosmic level, it is redemption that reaches as far as the curse is found. It is hard to even grasp the multiplicity of goodness found in the Good News. Q: Share a little bit about your family life now. What does a typical day look like in the Burkholder household? A: My wife Jenny is my high-school sweetheart! She brings joy and kindness wherever she goes. She’s the best listener I’ve ever met, and we love spending time together. We have three daughters. Isabella is ten, Olivia is seven, and Zoey is four. Each of the girls is unique and has taught us a lot in our process of following Jesus together. We like to go out on walks and go to the park together. Once a month I try to get some alone time with each of my daughters which usually includes bowling or trampolines. A typical day in the Burkholder house starts around 5:00am. Because of traffic here in Guatemala City, we have to leave early for school. After school, the girls come home to different activities - sometimes swimming class, sometimes piano lessons. Four or five nights a week we have dinner together where we usually talk about our high and low moments of the day. On weekends, we enjoy time together, playing outside, or watching sports together. Go Cubs and Go Buckeyes! Q: What are your interests and hobbies? If you have the day off, what are you likely to be up to? A: I enjoy physical activity, running, strength-training and following sports. I also love music and, truth be told, am a bit snobby about my taste in music! I also am a very curious person and love reading just about anything that passes through my hands. A day off is usually an opportunity for time with family. Jenny and I like to cook something interesting together on our days off. Often there is time for some reading and watching some type of athletic event. Q: How did God lead you to TEAM? A: My wife and I were working in the Chicago suburbs. I was a youth pastor and she was a Spanish teacher. When we got married, we had already sensed God’s direction to serve cross-culturally, but it was a matter of discerning when and where. There was a driving desire in me to see a church deeply love the Scriptures and at the same time, be deeply engaged in loving and serving their city and the most vulnerable among them. As God directed our paths, we visited a variety of places and made some friends in Guatemala who opened up the path for us to serve here. While we were exploring, we knew that the International Director of an organization called TEAM happened to go to our church, so I decided I should probably invite him out for breakfast - his name was Charlie Davis. Charlie was extremely thoughtful, passionate about disciple-making, and very gracious in creating space for us as we stepped into this endeavor. Charlie connected me with Steve Dresselhaus, a fellow TEAM global worker who was at that time serving as the Senior Director for the Americas. I cannot express the debt that I owe Steve. He walked closely with me in the transition, encouraged courageous thinking about the church and her role in society, and blasted open the doors for us to serve in Guatemala. After meeting Steve, we spent some days praying about joining TEAM. One thing I will never forget – one night during the process, I found myself wide awake in the middle of the night. A peace like I have seldom experienced passed over me confirming that we should join TEAM. There is no doubt in my mind that God tied all of these pieces together to bring us into the TEAM family and community. Q: What roles have you held in TEAM? What have been the milestones in those roles? A: The most important role I have held in TEAM is that of a global worker. God in His grace has allowed us to help plant two churches here in Guatemala, serve in leadership development, counseling, and discipleship. Our greatest joy has been found walking with those who are learning to follow Christ more deeply. I served as the Ministry Area Leader in Guatemala from 2016 to 2019. We helped to establish and lead this ministry area as it grew from just four global workers to over 15. I then served as Senior Director for Mexico and Central America from 2019 to 2021, Regional Executive Director for the Americas in 2021 and 2022, and then transitioned to the role of Executive Director of Global Ministry which I’ll continue in until the end of June. Q: What do you love most about being a part of TEAM? Why TEAM rather than other organizations or job opportunities? A: The TEAM community is full of people who have faithfully served God’s mission and have given up a lot to do so. It is a privilege to know many of our global workers and be counted among them. I am also fascinated by the fact that TEAM has existed now for more than 130 years! There is something to be said about the resilience and faithfulness of an organization that has continued to impact the world for so long. The rest of our conversation with Justin will be coming soon on blog! We’ll hear more about how God called Justin to the role of International Director, and what Justin sees for the next chapter in TEAM’s work in the global Church.
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