When You Think Selling Yourself Is Your Only Option

Brianna Langley • Apr 12, 2018

The bleeding just wouldn’t stop.

Sandra was in the middle of her most recent in-home abortion. And this time, she could feel the life draining from her like the blood pooling up around her body.

How had it come to this? How had she ended up lying here, dying in her own home?

When she thought back to her childhood, Sandra knew the answer to those questions.

Sold by Her Own Family

Sandra was born in a town on the western border of Chad. Her mother died when she was an infant, so she was raised mostly by her aunt, Delphine*.

Life wasn’t bad. Sandra went to school, and even though her family didn’t believe in God, she often went to church with a neighbor.

But danger is always lurking for young girls in Chad. Girls are often kidnapped and forced into marriage.

Delphine agreed to an arranged marriage for Sandra when she was 13. Delphine said Sandra would be going to live with another man for a while. She could come back after the holidays if she didn’t like it.

But Sandra had overheard the discussion between her aunt and this man. She knew she’d been sold as a child bride.

Enslaved in an Almost-Deadly Marriage

Soon Sandra fell pregnant. She was only 14. The pregnancy was so hard on her small body that she couldn’t even stand up straight. Five months into the pregnancy, she lost the baby — and almost her life.

A year later, Sandra gave birth to a son. Just 12 months after that, a daughter.

When their daughter was about a year old, Sandra’s husband took another wife. Fights became frequent in their marriage.

One day, Sandra’s husband beat her so badly he nearly killed her.

Somehow, Sandra escaped her husband. She fled and found her way back to her family’s village. But when she got there, her relatives didn’t want her. Sandra was on her own.

She Thought She Only had One Option

Sandra had little education and no family support. So she made her way to the capital city, N’djamena.

Feeling she had no other option, Sandra turned to the oldest profession on the planet: prostitution. But N’djamena’s red-light district is a dangerous place. Gang rape and even murder are real risks.

Sandra was young — only 20 years old.

She fell pregnant several times during her prostitution days, but she had no husband to provide or even care for a child. So she chose to have abortions. One time, she bled so much she thought she was going to die.

Sandra’s faith and sense of self-esteem fell to an all-time low. She thought about suicide regularly.

She felt abandoned and hurt by God and openly turned her back on Him.

Rescued by the God She’d Rejected

Once, Sandra was walking back to her room when a group of men blocked her way with their truck. They forced her into the vehicle and drove out of town so they could have their way with her.

Realizing what was happening, Sandra began to cry to God, “Lord save me! Save me! Save me!”

The men began to fight amongst themselves when they arrived at their destination. Then the police arrived and the would-be rapists scattered.

Sandra had never felt more desperate, afraid and alone.

Then she met Albert*.

She Thought He was a Good Man

Unlike the cruel men Sandra usually met in the red-light district , Albert seemed to care for her. He even provided a home for her. They had a daughter together and were unofficially married.

Although Sandra was not Albert’s first wife and he had had children by other women, life finally seemed good again. Sandra even began occasionally attending church.

But then Albert landed a lucrative job. His eyes began to wander. He started taking other women and setting them up as concubines.

Desperate for answers and peace, Sandra began attending church more regularly.

She Found a Safe Place to Recover

That’s when a missionary named Naomi came into Sandra’s life. The two began to meet and study the Bible together.

Then in 2015, Naomi and other missionaries opened the Acacia Center. The center is meant to provide vulnerable women like Sandra a safe place to share their stories and be counseled through their traumas. It serves as a rehabilitation center and a place where Chadian women can learn practical life skills.

Naomi invited Sandra to participate in the programs offered there.

The workers at the program taught Sandra how to earn a wholesome income through making soaps, greeting cards and tote bags. They also helped her identify the lies that had harmed her in the past. She began to replace the lies with the Truths of God’s Word.

Thanks to You, She is Finally Regaining Self-Worth!

When Sandra watched The Jesus Film at the Acacia Center, she finally grasped how much the Lord loves her. Her heart and her life changed.

Now she says she feels like a tree being pruned, bit by bit until she discovers the image of God inside her.

Thanks to friends like you, Sandra is beginning to thrive. Younger women in the program now come to her for encouragement and advice. She counsels from her own life experiences and the traumas she’s faced.

Like the roots of the Acacia tree reach down deep for water in the ground, Sandra is learning to reach for the Living Water of Christ to help her flourish in the harsh world in which she lives.

*Names changed.

By Megan Lunsford 23 Apr, 2024
When seeking to serve cross-culturally with an authentic love for others, there’s no better example for us than Jesus. If we sat around a table and threw out the question, “How do we love like Jesus?” I think we would have several commonalities as we respond. For example, Jesus loved all people right where they were. He loved those who were deemed the least, those hardest to love, or those who were His enemies. These are all beautiful realities of the heart of Jesus. When we step into relationships, it can be easier to take on the warmer, more gracious gestures of Jesus’ love, especially in cross-cultural relationships. Think about it––when doing life with those who look and act differently than us, we are already out of our comfort zones and would rather keep things as simple and familiar as possible. But there are other facets of Jesus’ heart we often overlook that can transform us and others even more into His likeness. Jesus is love because God is love. Everything Jesus did was out of love; it’s the mere definition of who He is. As followers of Jesus, He calls us to the same: “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.” (1 John:7-12) Every display of love we offer to others is an opportunity for them to encounter the ultimate love of the Father. That’s a pretty big deal! In this article, we’ll look at three expressions of Jesus’ love that we tend to overlook when engaging others cross-culturally. (Next month, we’ll look at three more.) 1. Jesus loved sacrificially. Everywhere Jesus went, crowds followed Him. We even see times in Scripture where Jesus had plans to step away for time alone but those who were hurting found Him and He had compassion on them and stayed with them. Can you imagine rarely having any time to yourself but, instead, constantly being surrounded by crowds of people wanting help from you? Jesus loved sacrificially. He welcomed all who came to Him with love and compassion, never turning anyone away. “When He saw the crowds, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” (Matthew 9:36) In the same way, we can make room in our lives for Jesus to bring sacrificial interruptions which, in His eyes, are orchestrated encounters to transfer His love to others. It can be tempting to be so “on mission” that we are full steam ahead and find ourselves frustrated when the Holy Spirit sends an interruption into our path that we feel we don’t have time for. Or, perhaps, we have scheduled a meet-up but it’s the norm in another culture to be 30 minutes or an hour late. We anxiously think through how it will affect whatever we have planned next. While it’s normal to feel a little stressed, what if the very "interruption” standing in front of you was really a divine appointment sent by God? Or what if that person running late experiences how peaceful and gracious you are in adapting to their culture and therefore, they can encounter a beautiful display of Jesus’ love? To truly represent Christ, we should remain ready and willing for each assignment the Lord sends into our path, no matter the cost or how much we will have to re-route our day. He is always a hundred steps ahead and will work all things for His glory and our good. 2. Jesus loved by discerning each situation well. Think about how many situations Jesus had to respond to on a daily basis. We read in Scripture that there were lines of people waiting to be healed by Him, talk to Him, hear His teachings, or simply touch the hem of His robe. Jesus was fully dependent on His Father to discern each situation before addressing it. “Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner.” (John 5:19) Another temptation we can have when in a relationship with those God has sent us to is to think we already know the solution or what God wants to do before we’ve even asked Him. We believe we are full of knowledge, so we just pull from the bank we have stored within and go with it. However, when we access what is familiar to us as our default, we risk missing out on a God-given solution that might truly be the key to unlocking whatever challenge is in front of us. What does this look like when interacting with others? We can simply ask, “God, what is on Your heart for the person standing in front of me?” Then we listen and respond as He speaks. When we make it a daily habit to pause and hear God’s heart for each situation before responding, we are guaranteed to be effective in loving those around us. He knows the heart of every person that will cross our paths. Imagine how impactful we can be if we first lean on His wisdom and discernment before moving forward. 3. Jesus loved by speaking truth. Most of us are familiar with the story of Jesus and the Samaritan woman at the well. If we are honest, this conversation makes us a bit nervous as none of us would be comfortable with Jesus calling out intimate details of our lives that we would prefer to hide. But Jesus went further than just airing her dirty laundry. He offered her the hope of the Gospel and a relationship with Him - a divine fulfillment that could never be found in an earthly relationship. Jesus modeled a powerful example of loving others well cross-culturally. He took the low place and spoke truth, truly out of love––speaking to her heart from His. Like Jesus, our goal in sharing the truths about Him and His Word is to bring hope and satisfaction through Him alone. When we speak truth from Scripture, we are calling others higher into all God has for them. The tricky part here is we should avoid speaking truth if it isn’t first fueled by compassion. If it merely comes from a place of judgment, condemnation, or self-righteousness, it will fall flat 100% of the time. But if it truly comes from love, you are likely to not only win a heart back to the Father but, like the story of the Samaritan woman, even an entire village! If you see someone living outside of God’s best for their lives, ask God to show you your heart before engaging theirs. Once your heart is properly postured, you can speak truth out of an overflow of God’s love and trust Him for a transformation in their lives.
By Suzanne Pearson 16 Apr, 2024
TEAM Canada provides warm welcome and trusted friendships for diaspora populations living far from their native countries. As TEAM Canada workers Peter and Ruth (names changed) drive from their home to a nearby community center, they pass numerous apartment buildings and townhouses. Most of the families who live there are immigrants. They’ve left their countries of origin due to political unrest, trauma, and other difficulties. They’ve left family, friends, homes, jobs, and personal wealth behind. They search for peace, justice for the oppressed, and rest from fear and weariness. And as they adjust to a new country and a new language, they are often very isolated from others around them. “The sad reality is most immigrants are never even invited inside a Canadian home,” says Ruth. Peter and Ruth and their team try to change that reality. For the last nine years, the team, which includes workers from partner organizations as well as volunteers, has held English classes at the community center. Three days a week, over 60 students from more than 20 countries come together to learn English as well as to fellowship together and receive practical help in assimilating to a new normal. Meeting Needs and Building Trust That practical help may come in the form of procuring furniture, clothes, or dishes for newcomers, assistance with creating a resume and finding a job, or teaching people how to navigate Canadian laws and the medical system. As these tangible needs are met, relationships are built. “We invite them into our homes for meals and games,” Ruth shares. “We take them on hiking trips, picnics, outings, and out for coffee.” This is particularly important in this type of ministry because most immigrants come to Canada from cultures that value hospitality. Conversely, Canadians do not typically prioritize hospitality and consequently many newcomers feel lonely and isolated. Inviting folks to various gatherings and outings allows the team to spend extended time hearing people’s stories, struggles, hopes, and dreams. When she speaks about building friendships, Ruth’s heart for the people she serves is evident. “Hearing their stories, it’s easy to love them, and many have become close friends,” Ruth says. “We recognize the value of steady one-on-one relationships.”
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