A Syrian Refugee Mother’s Impossible Choice

Bethany DuVal • Nov 03, 2016

Widowed by the Syrian civil war, Amira fled to safety with her unborn child only to be faced with more hardship. Photo by TEAM

To protect our missionaries and the people they serve, all names and locations in this post have been changed or withheld. We appreciate your prayers for missionaries serving in sensitive regions around the world.


You’re a new mother with a choice before you: If you go to work, your baby will have no one to care for her. If you stay home, you won’t have money to care for her. What do you do?


If it seems an impossible choice, don’t worry. Whatever you decide, your in-laws say they will kidnap your child anyway.

And if all that seemed like a cruel thought exercise, you should know that for 25-year-old Amira, a Syrian refugee, that threat was a reality — until TEAM missionaries stepped in.


Abandoned and Bombarded

Amira deeply understands the pain of being separated from one’s parents. Her father died when she was a teenager. Her mother got remarried to a man who refused to care for someone else’s child.


Amira was shunted off into her paternal grandmother’s care for the remainder of her upbringing. Then her grandmother died, too.

In 2011, the Syrian government began using force against pro-democracy protesters, which gradually grew into all-out civil war. And in 2013, the Islamic State jihadist group took over the city of Raqqa.


Somehow, Amira pressed forward. By her mid-twenties, she was married and pregnant with her first child. But the little happiness she found was not to last.


“We were bombarded by planes,” Amira says of the day her husband died. “They bombarded our houses, and he was burned by a bomb dropped by the plane. … Many people died, and he died with them.”


Amira and her in-laws decided they had no choice but to flee the country.


Without a Morsel of Food

Since the war began, 11 million Syrians have fled their homes for other parts of the country (6.6 million) or for other nations entirely (4.9 million). Relationships can be critical during the process as families seek out personal connections in safe zones, send scouts ahead to assess locations and support one another when they settle.

When Amira arrived in her new country, though, her in-laws abandoned her, pretending they didn’t even know her. Desperate, she reached out to an elderly uncle, Burhan.

Amira’s uncle, Burhan, is her only family now. Photo by TEAM

“She came to me without a morsel of food,” Burhan says.


Burhan lives in a city where refugees are officially banned. Moving there means giving up rights as a refugee, but the promised work opportunities, mostly in agriculture, continue to pull people in.

Amira and her baby live with Amira’s uncle in a makeshift tent community with other refugees. Photo by TEAM

 

Burhan brought Amira to an illegal camp run by a local migrant family. Refugees pay them rent, and the family provides space to build a tent with a little electricity and organizes work opportunities with local employers.


Unfortunately, the promises of plentiful work in the city are only half true.


Because the refugees don’t have rights in closed cities, employers can pay them less than ordinary workers or even refuse to pay entirely once a job is finished. And when the agriculture season ends, jobs are few and far between.


Amira, Burhan and several other families struggled to pay their rent, so the landlord evicted them. The families set up camp on a nearby plot, but the landlord still talked to other landowners to discourage them from giving the group work.

The refugee community is without running water or electricity, making personal hygiene and household chores difficult. Photo by TEAM

 

“They can’t work. They don’t have electricity. They’re even worse off than they were before,” TEAM missionary Garrett Bennett says.

Meanwhile, Amira gave birth to a girl, and her in-laws began to acknowledge her again — this time, with threats. They said Amira couldn’t care for the baby so they were going to take her away. And Amira, a breastfeeding mother, had no defense to offer.

“I can’t do anything because I have to take care of [my daughter]. … I can’t work. If no one helps me, I won’t be able to provide for her,” Amira says.


Walking Together

TEAM missionaries Garrett and Natalie Bennett became missionaries so they could plant churches, not take care of refugees. But as more and more refugees started coming to their city, they knew they had to do something.

“This is where we live, and they’re here and the need is great,” Natalie says. “And we can’t turn a blind eye and just say they’re not supposed to be here, so we’re not going to help them.”

TEAM workers continue to tangibly serve families like Amira’s through weekly food donations. Photo by TEAM

 

The couple and some local volunteers started visiting unofficial camps to hand out bags of food and ask refugees what they needed. At one camp, virtually every woman said the same thing: They needed someone to take special care of a 25-year-old, single mom named Amira.

The Bennetts generally think of their food packets as supplements to whatever families can buy themselves. But when it comes to Amira, her daughter and Uncle Burhan, they decided to provide everything: food, clothing, and supplies for the baby.

One of the Bennetts’ TEAM partners told her church’s sewing circle about Amira, so the group sewed a blanket for the baby and started raising money for the extra food.

The aid has allowed Amira to keep and care for her daughter, even though she can’t work. And with each weekly visit, her relationship with the missionaries has grown deeper.

“She was pretty reserved and cautious around us at first,” Natalie says, “but now, she’s started to open up and really greets us with a hug and a kiss.”

In time, the Bennetts pray their friendship will lead Amira to hope in Christ. But while they wait, they will walk with her through her trials, pointing her to the One who will always hold her close, just as she holds her own daughter.

By Megan Lunsford 23 Apr, 2024
When seeking to serve cross-culturally with an authentic love for others, there’s no better example for us than Jesus. If we sat around a table and threw out the question, “How do we love like Jesus?” I think we would have several commonalities as we respond. For example, Jesus loved all people right where they were. He loved those who were deemed the least, those hardest to love, or those who were His enemies. These are all beautiful realities of the heart of Jesus. When we step into relationships, it can be easier to take on the warmer, more gracious gestures of Jesus’ love, especially in cross-cultural relationships. Think about it––when doing life with those who look and act differently than us, we are already out of our comfort zones and would rather keep things as simple and familiar as possible. But there are other facets of Jesus’ heart we often overlook that can transform us and others even more into His likeness. Jesus is love because God is love. Everything Jesus did was out of love; it’s the mere definition of who He is. As followers of Jesus, He calls us to the same: “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.” (1 John:7-12) Every display of love we offer to others is an opportunity for them to encounter the ultimate love of the Father. That’s a pretty big deal! In this article, we’ll look at three expressions of Jesus’ love that we tend to overlook when engaging others cross-culturally. (Next month, we’ll look at three more.) 1. Jesus loved sacrificially. Everywhere Jesus went, crowds followed Him. We even see times in Scripture where Jesus had plans to step away for time alone but those who were hurting found Him and He had compassion on them and stayed with them. Can you imagine rarely having any time to yourself but, instead, constantly being surrounded by crowds of people wanting help from you? Jesus loved sacrificially. He welcomed all who came to Him with love and compassion, never turning anyone away. “When He saw the crowds, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” (Matthew 9:36) In the same way, we can make room in our lives for Jesus to bring sacrificial interruptions which, in His eyes, are orchestrated encounters to transfer His love to others. It can be tempting to be so “on mission” that we are full steam ahead and find ourselves frustrated when the Holy Spirit sends an interruption into our path that we feel we don’t have time for. Or, perhaps, we have scheduled a meet-up but it’s the norm in another culture to be 30 minutes or an hour late. We anxiously think through how it will affect whatever we have planned next. While it’s normal to feel a little stressed, what if the very "interruption” standing in front of you was really a divine appointment sent by God? Or what if that person running late experiences how peaceful and gracious you are in adapting to their culture and therefore, they can encounter a beautiful display of Jesus’ love? To truly represent Christ, we should remain ready and willing for each assignment the Lord sends into our path, no matter the cost or how much we will have to re-route our day. He is always a hundred steps ahead and will work all things for His glory and our good. 2. Jesus loved by discerning each situation well. Think about how many situations Jesus had to respond to on a daily basis. We read in Scripture that there were lines of people waiting to be healed by Him, talk to Him, hear His teachings, or simply touch the hem of His robe. Jesus was fully dependent on His Father to discern each situation before addressing it. “Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner.” (John 5:19) Another temptation we can have when in a relationship with those God has sent us to is to think we already know the solution or what God wants to do before we’ve even asked Him. We believe we are full of knowledge, so we just pull from the bank we have stored within and go with it. However, when we access what is familiar to us as our default, we risk missing out on a God-given solution that might truly be the key to unlocking whatever challenge is in front of us. What does this look like when interacting with others? We can simply ask, “God, what is on Your heart for the person standing in front of me?” Then we listen and respond as He speaks. When we make it a daily habit to pause and hear God’s heart for each situation before responding, we are guaranteed to be effective in loving those around us. He knows the heart of every person that will cross our paths. Imagine how impactful we can be if we first lean on His wisdom and discernment before moving forward. 3. Jesus loved by speaking truth. Most of us are familiar with the story of Jesus and the Samaritan woman at the well. If we are honest, this conversation makes us a bit nervous as none of us would be comfortable with Jesus calling out intimate details of our lives that we would prefer to hide. But Jesus went further than just airing her dirty laundry. He offered her the hope of the Gospel and a relationship with Him - a divine fulfillment that could never be found in an earthly relationship. Jesus modeled a powerful example of loving others well cross-culturally. He took the low place and spoke truth, truly out of love––speaking to her heart from His. Like Jesus, our goal in sharing the truths about Him and His Word is to bring hope and satisfaction through Him alone. When we speak truth from Scripture, we are calling others higher into all God has for them. The tricky part here is we should avoid speaking truth if it isn’t first fueled by compassion. If it merely comes from a place of judgment, condemnation, or self-righteousness, it will fall flat 100% of the time. But if it truly comes from love, you are likely to not only win a heart back to the Father but, like the story of the Samaritan woman, even an entire village! If you see someone living outside of God’s best for their lives, ask God to show you your heart before engaging theirs. Once your heart is properly postured, you can speak truth out of an overflow of God’s love and trust Him for a transformation in their lives.
By Suzanne Pearson 16 Apr, 2024
TEAM Canada provides warm welcome and trusted friendships for diaspora populations living far from their native countries. As TEAM Canada workers Peter and Ruth (names changed) drive from their home to a nearby community center, they pass numerous apartment buildings and townhouses. Most of the families who live there are immigrants. They’ve left their countries of origin due to political unrest, trauma, and other difficulties. They’ve left family, friends, homes, jobs, and personal wealth behind. They search for peace, justice for the oppressed, and rest from fear and weariness. And as they adjust to a new country and a new language, they are often very isolated from others around them. “The sad reality is most immigrants are never even invited inside a Canadian home,” says Ruth. Peter and Ruth and their team try to change that reality. For the last nine years, the team, which includes workers from partner organizations as well as volunteers, has held English classes at the community center. Three days a week, over 60 students from more than 20 countries come together to learn English as well as to fellowship together and receive practical help in assimilating to a new normal. Meeting Needs and Building Trust That practical help may come in the form of procuring furniture, clothes, or dishes for newcomers, assistance with creating a resume and finding a job, or teaching people how to navigate Canadian laws and the medical system. As these tangible needs are met, relationships are built. “We invite them into our homes for meals and games,” Ruth shares. “We take them on hiking trips, picnics, outings, and out for coffee.” This is particularly important in this type of ministry because most immigrants come to Canada from cultures that value hospitality. Conversely, Canadians do not typically prioritize hospitality and consequently many newcomers feel lonely and isolated. Inviting folks to various gatherings and outings allows the team to spend extended time hearing people’s stories, struggles, hopes, and dreams. When she speaks about building friendships, Ruth’s heart for the people she serves is evident. “Hearing their stories, it’s easy to love them, and many have become close friends,” Ruth says. “We recognize the value of steady one-on-one relationships.”
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